Tuesday, June 7, 2011

I'm lost.

My friends keep coming to me and say "Everything going to be alright." I'm sorry guys, I doubt.

I can hardly smile with sincerity, you can hardly sees me laughing out loud.
I'm just tired of all this, 
One things for sure, that I doubt the most. One question. Am I happy ?

Where can I find my happiness ? I never seems to found it clearly. 

It's a lie if in those days I'm not happy, with my friend and my boyfriend. It's just that, sometime I'm NOT allowed to show that I'm grumpy. Semua nak marah I. Hmm, so what I did is : I pretend. I pretend that I'm HAPPY while I'm not. I pretend to laugh LOUDLY while I don't feel like doing it. I fake my SMILE when someone ask me to smile for them. I'm sorry you guys, I'm not myself. I hope you understand my situation. Hmmmmm.
Till then, 
I see you when I miss you aite ?


Evening you guys, 

Hello ?
I'm not in a good mood today. 
Woke up quite late today, cause of my fever-ish. Hmm, right now I'm on my bed while reading Information System chapter 3. Suddenly all my problems pop out one by one and I rasa tak selesa langsung. And of course, you know qie. Sah sah nangis punya. Habis timeline penuh dengan qie marah marah and suddenly menangis. 

Hmm, qie tak marah sangat, tak sedih sangat. But one thing for sure. I am very disappointed. Sebab apa ? Banyak sebab la, bila tak puas hati, bengang, all sort of feeling ada everything went wrong. Benda boleh buat pun tak boleh jalan. Soalan yang kita boleh jawab elok elok such as "Dah makan ?" pun jadi gaduh sebab qie terjawab dengan nada yang kasar. 

Hmm, qie mintak maaf. Qie tengah stress.

Kalau qie stress apa pun tak jadi, apa pun tak betul. Semua tak menentu. Tak senang nak buat apa pun. Semua benda boleh menaikkan kemarahan. Hmm, qie mintak maaf sekali lagi. 

Kadang kadang ada perasaan tak puas hati, kenapa kena jaga perasaan orang sedangkan perasaan sendiri terluka ? Kenapa orang tak boleh nak faham kita macam mana kita faham dia ? Kenapa kita boleh ikut cara dia and dia tak boleh nak terima cara kita ? Apa semua ni ? Dugaan ? I tak faham. Hmmm. Serabut sangat kepala. Kenapa la semua ni nak datang sekarang ? Qie tak jemput pun, dia datang jugak.

The worst thing ever, sampaikan semangat nak study pun tak da. Bukan pasal study je, semangat nak buat apa apa pun tak da. Sikit pun qie da tak nak amik tahu. Qie rasa tak kuat sangat. Dengan masalah yang muncul tanpa diundang. Haihs. Tension-nya. Ermmmm.

Rimas la, rimas dengan semua ni. Errghh ! 

Maybe I'm lost on my own way. 

June, please help me get back up. Hmm.


I am officially mad at you. 
I don't want to talk.
I hope you understand. 

What you said was so hurtful. 
Till then,
I'll see you when I miss you okay ?

Psssst : Mad fever. Sorry.