Monday, March 21, 2011

The girl,

I'm the girl who seemed unbreakable, broke. I'm the girl who always laughed, cried. I'm the girl that never stopped trying, finally gave up. Dropped fake smile as a tears rolled down my cheek and said to myself that "I can't do this anymore". I felt so empty, like an empty can. It's just to hurt to know that I can't actually figure it out what makes me feel this way. Whenever I'm hurt, I don't want to talk. I just wear fake smile, tell everything is okay, but actually they aren't. In my life the word 'BUT' is a must. Theres so many obstacles. Sometimes, I smile thru my aching heart, just to pleased people. I hide tears from laughing out loud with my friends.My feelings get very cozy like the weather. The rain means I'm crying inside. The cloudy and windy saying I'm torn apart inside. Where is my sunshine ? I make silly joke with silly faces just to cover myself from wondering around.
Kbyeeeeee
Loves,

Filled !

FUCKED UP overdose with these pills. Dayyum. Hmmmmmm.
Everything makes me feel uneasy. He haven't call yet. Lagi meroyan. Kbye.
Loves,

Genius Enough

Only a fake smile and perfect fake laugh can cover all the pressure and tenseness's. When you have tons of things, wondering around in your mind you came across to make a lot of possibilities, a stupid irrelevant shit. Human habits. I need something to distract my mind. Any ideas ? Hmmmm. 
Loves,

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm,

Happy Monday :)

Hmmm, nak cerita apa ? Entah la, kusut tetiba. 
Badan letih, mata ngantuk, kaki sakit, nyamuk banyak gigit, sejuk kena hujan, tak mandi lagi macam macam la. Tapi tak boleh jugak nak tidur, baring je atas katil semua benda nak fikir, pusing kanan macam tu. Pusing kiri jangan cakap la, sama la. Kenapa la macam ni ? Tak tenang langsung. Kenapa jadi macam ni ? Tadi tunggu Iid dekat LRT Sri Rampai, lagi buat I pikir macam macam, benda yang tak penah terlintas di kotak pemikiran pun terkeluar sama. Macam mana ? Terasa dalam hidup I ni semua benda salah. Banyak persoalan. Tapi satu pun tak terjawab. Setiap masa makin banyak ada la. Hidup ni serba tak lengkap. Haihhs, mengeluh je la bila hidup tunggang langgang. Macam macam nak fikir, penyelesaian tak da jugak. Kenapa macam ni ? Pressure-nya hanya tuhan saja yang tahu. Stress, semua tuhan je yang tahu. Kesedihan, keperitan hanya tuhan je yang nampak. Selagi tak diberitahu seorang pun tak akan sedar. Tak tau da macam mana. Tak nampak pun jalan keluar. Hidup ni macam 'maze', kalau kita jumpa jalan keluar kita selamat. Kalau kita jumpa jalan mati, hidup ni macam terkapai kapai. Haihhs, letih. 

*maafla memekak dan membebel tak pasal kat sini. Bila otak da tak berapa nak betul. Ni la yang jadi.
Loves,