Friday, February 18, 2011


Don't know how to form all of my rocking ship feeling into words. Hmm. How can I say this ? H'hmm. I'm not sure. 
Okay, actually it's already been few days I'm actually stuck with these feelings. 
I just don't know who to talk to, who want to listen and how to say it. No one will understands me. No one will. Little did I tried. I know it's not going to work.

He's not himself for the past few weeks. I'm worried about you. I wish I could do something to bring back the old you. I mean that person that I'm in loved with for the past few months. I wish I could go back to December 2010. I miss that moments.
Something going on between me and him, . 
It really bother me cause it hurt when with had our arguments. I rarely sleep silent at night, bad dreams, my body is aching and not feeling well when that feeling came. Y'know that feeling, that guilty feelings, anxious, angry, wanna cry and stuff. 
You just wanna scream cause you know the fact that what he's been telling you all around is so fucking true and it's hard when you have someone so commanding, prestigious, sophisticated and influential on the public to be your boyfriend. Yeah, Hakim is one of them. He's just to great, to good for me and everything. He is like one step away from perfectness. I felt so small when I'm with you. I takut. Tergugat kedudukan I. I'm not strong enough. Cause I know, you knew ALL of my weakness. What can I do and don't ? You knew everything single thing about me and it just scared me to make a tiny mistake. Walaupun sebesar kuman. 
For the past few days, I may make few mistake, know that I'm sorry sincerely. But with the way you talked I just want you to know that you're pushing me away and lately your words been hurting me secretly day by day. I don't know what to say anymore.

Hunny, I miss you. *A song from Glee Cast True Color. Just for you. 
Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy,
Can't remember when I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there

And I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors,
True colors, are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

Ah ah ah ah...

Spoken: Can't remember when I last saw you laughing

P/s :
Lately, with this feelings and the things going on, I just don't feel like writing anything. I don't feel like talking to anyone. I don't know how is Aqilah Jafar anymore.