Thursday, September 29, 2011

Puas ?

Someone asked me, 

Are you happy ? 
It kinda make me think closely before I even answered her question.
Am I happy ? Or do I look happy ?
And I said, yeah. I'm happy. As long as I'm able to make people happy.
Their happiness is equal to my happiness.

I thank Allah for my family. For Mak, Ayah, and my pretty siblings. 
It's lie if I said we never fight or I never said "I hate you guys". Sometimes I do hate them, they get into my nerves BIG time ! But whatever happened. They are my family. My life is with them, without them I don't know how to live. I will never discover smile, tears, betrayed, hate. They are my happiness, my sadness, my everything. 

I puas dengan apa yang I ada. I redha dengan ujian Allah. Semoga aku dan keluarga aku dilimpahi rezeki. Insyallah. I love you guys <3

Hello World,

Hello pretty, 

Just want to share with you guys few stories. Hari ni letih sangat. Aj resign, and she's HOME :D
She reach home at 1 something, she asked me to siap siap and we went out to pick up her offer letter at RHB Jalan Tun Razak. 
Finish everything at RHB around 4, drove to Pavilion, park at valet Fahrenheit. Walk to Pavi for lunch and do some shopping there. 
Before balik ruma, lepak NZ KLCC, just to avoid jam orang balik kerja. Jumpa kawan Aj, Jaja. Talk, chit chat, gossip to the max then we decide to go home. Before balik pegi Ampang Park, buy Mcd, Hakim's dinner. I tau dia letih few days ni. So bought big mac, hantar pegi Damai. Then balik :)

And I'm here now. I'm in writing mood actually, don't feel so good. I feel bad, I feel sad. I dunno why. Hurm.
Gonna wrote soon, see you.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011


You have to take the good with the bad,
smile with the sad, 
love what you got and remember what you had, 
always forgive, 
but never forget,
learn from your mistake, 
but never regret, 
people change,
things could go worst,
just remember,
whatever happened,
life must goes on.

Ne-Yo :D

In love with his voice !
Can die like this :D 

I love this song, even da berzaman la jugak -.-'

Sad thing is I can't found a way to download this songs.
4shared takda, iMesh lagi la takda.
How ? Sedih gila. Hari hari bukak youtube -.-'


Sometimes, I want you to be the one who called me in the middle of the night just to say "I love you" without even bother thinking that I might be mad or tired. I promise I'll smile in my sleep, and in my dream.

Sometimes, I want you to be that person who will call me before you go to sleep. You usually call me when you woke up. And I love when you do that. I feel safe, happy, and mostly love. 

Sometimes, I want you to be there to just listen to what I'm going to say, without cutting my word off, without arguing whether I'm wrong or right, without even trying to solve it. I just want you to listen. And smile even I'm at the worst position. I just want you to hold my hand and tell me "everything's going to be okay" also with a warm hugs.

Sometimes, when we fight over small topic. I hate to see you're look down on me like everything it's my fault. I just want you to know we cannot blame each other when we fought, we make mistake, we both does. But we never care to speak out. Because of our ego. And at the end of the day, I know I'm the one who's going to cry myself to sleep. 

Sometimes, I just want silent to heal us up when you raised your voice, even you're telling me you're not mad. To me you are. You're doing it. The way you look at me, the tone of voice, the words that you choose. Everything seems so wrong and hurtful to me. 

Sometimes, I just want to cry when I make mistake, right in front of you. So that you can see how regret I am with my mistake. When I cry, I just need you to consult me and tell me you forgive me. 

Sometimes, you can be that person who I madly in love with. 

Sometimes, you can be that person who I just want to strangle and yell "Go Die !"

Sometimes, when I don't feel like talking. I talk to myself. I'm talking inside. Forgive me, for the faces I have made, forgive me when I don't want to look at you. Forgive me, when you feel I'm ignoring everything you said. Truly, I never tend to ignore you. This is me, I don't want to say things when I don't feel like it. Cause I know, bad thing going to happens, bad choices of word will come out from my mouth. When I never mean to do so.

Sometimes, I just need you to hold my hand, look at me, and just silent. Without saying anything. Let our eyes and heart speaks. We hardly do that these days.

Sometimes, I have that feeling that you don't care about me, nor my words. 

Sometimes, you asked me to share few stories with you, mostly about my past. But you don't have that look that you're trying to listen and have a heart to actually feel what I'm going to say. That's why I don't usually share with you. Usually, I've been forced to do so. I'm sorry. I hardly feel comfortable with you now days.

Sometimes, I showed my shyness. Even when you're telling me. "We're 9 months already." But I still have that kind of feeling. Just like you. Just like what you said just now. 

Sometimes, I miss the moment we sat at Taman KLCC, with ice cream or drinks beside us. Just keep on talking and laughing. I still remember the day you cried. I miss every moments we shared together. I can't feel that moments anymore. My heart says I'm losing you, but my body says I only have your body, not your soul.

Sometimes, I miss our late night conversation up till 6 freaking AM. Haha, datang class mata bengkak -.-'

Sometimes, I miss having breakfast together. I miss trying so hard to call to wake you up till 66 miss calls or more on your phone. You get up easily now days and I'm glad you're changing.

Sometimes, I wish to be a better person. 

Sometimes, I wish I could handle critical things without you telling me how. It's not that I don't need you, It's just that I want to be independent. What I'm going to do when you're not here with me one day ? 

Sometimes, I wish I could be stronger.

Sometimes, I wish you be proud of who I am now.

Sometimes, I wish I can change drastically.

Sometimes, I wish I can the person you dreamed off, cause I know you're trying to change me into something good. I see your point, I see your good deed, I see everything in you. 

Sometimes, I hate myself for hurting you.

Sometimes, I wish I'm perfect for you.

Sometimes, how I wish everything I asked come true.

And somehow, I have to stop here.

Lastly, I just want to know that I will always love you. Fo rever ! I love you Muhammad Nur Hakim Bin Ismail <3

1 Year and 2 Months,

Hello 27 September 2011 :)

We met again. 
Me and Hakim went out today. Since I finish my class at 9.30 this morning. So I decided to ask him out. Well, qie kan ?
I got bored and I don't want to go home. Lunch at Pizza Hut Pavilion. We had Chicken Supreme if I'm not mistaken. Like usual. I get stuff easily, so I only have 2 pieces only. He have to finish up another 4 pieces and of course he's hungry. Confirm melantak :D

Since I didn't plan to got out today, so I have no idea what to do. We kinda wondering around at Pavilion also KLCC. I suggested we watch movie, BUT it's a bad bad timing for me. I don't want to go home late. So yeah, we kinda have nothing else to do than sitting around and walking around without any hala tuju. Sorry sayang.

Can I ?

Can I do this ?

I don't want to care about others, 
cause they never tend to care about me. 
About my feelings,
So, why do I have to be so generous and be precious thinking about them ?

Sorry, for some reason. I want to stay away from you. 

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Jangan salah faham,

Bukan perpisahan yang aku pinta,
cuma ruang untuk bernafas.
Ruang untuk berfikir secara rasional.

I'm not saying goodbye
we just need time out.

I harap sayang faham.
I love you sayang, I love you always and forever.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Mampu ke ?

Mampu ke aku menanggung apa yang aku da cakapkan pada kau ? 
Mampu ke aku ?


Peneman tidur,

Tears and sadness.


My heart is filled with sadness and sorrow.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Blood 'love'

Marah la sebanyak mana pun,
Tapi I tetap juga sayang you.
Sampai bila bila.
I love you Hunny.

Tak pernah I benci you sayang. 
I love you so much :(

Advanced !

Since I'm not well and don't have the mood to stay up *think you know why, so I wrote short notes before you leave :)

Oh oh, lupa. This is for Miss Iidreen Onn Jaafar !

BIG SHOUT OUT to this girlfriend !

Sexay makwe ;)

Happy becoming 19 baby :D

Haha, khayalan semata mata -.-' 

Me love you, 
On your happy day, I want you to know 
How grateful I am to have you as my bff's. Hehe. 
I wish you all the best. 
I pray for your happiness. For you and your mum *mama you rock ! 
I hope you will found someone you wish for *ehem ehem I read your blogzz. Hahah.
Happy HOLS ! Hope you will have a great great birthday + holiday. *holiday sekali untuk I :D
Of all my wrong doing, please forgive me. Every action and words that came out from my mouth is non of my intention. I would never ever ever want to hurt you.
Insyallah, you can beat DNM based on our project. *Ceh ceh !

I think that all from me, I guess. Lot more to come. Tapi macam mengantuk. Hehe, sooooooo. 
I just want you to have fun there, and stop worrying about others than yourself. Be good. Haha. Jangan notty notty :p

Night lovies, love you !

I prefer,

Just got back from Laila's house at Taman Shamelin.

Whenever you feel angry, do stay away or just walk away from me. I rather not seeing you. Cause I don't want to be that person you yelled at without any reason, or me just sitting there come up to load more of your anger. I rather see you walk away, and let me sit there crying.
Just let me be me, we go our way. 

I just want you to start talking to me when you're in good shape.
I hate when you raise your voice, to you it's nothing. To me, you're angry at that time. And I do not want to be there. Facing you.

Is not that I don't want to be there. It's just that I can't face you up, cause I know, something bad might happens if I stay.

Sincerely, my heart says it all. I just wrote it all over again. 


How I wish you knew how I feel,
How I wish you would be there when I need your hug,
How I wish you knew what you should do when I cried,
How I wish you knew what I'm going to say,
How I wish things could go back like they we're.

How I wish, you concern about me.

Just like before.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Used to.

People change whether its to a bad thing or a good thing right ?
Or maybe sometimes people change just to piss you off.

And as for me, for some people who are close enough to me change big time !
And I personally hate it, which I don't say it straight to her face, cause she will end up crying and never talk to me again. SO blah ! Whatever. I'll just have to wear my poker face and pretend like nothing happened.
I always do that didn't it.

I use the terms "Used To" because I just want you to know that,
I personally want you to know that
I used to love you
I used to cover you ass
I used to lie for you
I used to be the person who you would yell without reason
I used to be your slave
I used to respect you
I used to stand up for you
I used to be there when you need someone to talk too
I used to stay up all night just to listen to you.

Yes, I'm stupid enough to be that kind of person. And starting for now, everything stop here. We can talk, but I would never be that person you knew back then.

When I use the word "USED". I hope you understand, that I no longer LIKE you.
Deeply, but like I said, I will wear my poker face mask, and pretend everything is fine.
Just to make you happy,
I just want you to know, sometimes I make decision just to make people happy not based on my happiness.

Sincerely, your secret hater.


And, I'm back :)

Usually I don't read people's blog. UNLESS, they are like super special to me. 
Actually baru hari ni I bukak lappy and actually online thru it. Biasanya online thru phone je. Hee, keep on browsing here and there. Bla bla. Tetiba tergerak hati nak bukak blog and actually read it. 

Let just say, I'm bored and I need something to fill up my days, ingat nak update blog. But before that baca dulu. 
And I bukak Iddy's blogspot. I'm touch about what you say. Thank you for your attention. Thank you for looking back of what we had. I seriously appreciated it. And it makes me turn clueless and I have no words to say. I'm shock cause I thought you never care and stuff. We had our crisis day past few weeks. 
We don't talk much, cause I been busy with college stuff. Sue me for being over joyed about it, when I'm not. College sucks ! 

You're turning 19 this 21 Sept. You're a big girl now, even you look so small. Hehe.
It kill me when we don't talk to each other, 
thank you for having me, 
thank you for helping me, 
thank you for saving my ass, 
wipe my tears, lean on your shoulder when I needed
Thank you for everything you have done.
I will always love ya best friend. *hugs !


Hello, and greeting everyone.

How are you ? Been doing good ? How's school, college or work ? Been busy ?

And as for me, I been ignoring you for the past few weeks. I had my mood swing, I had my busy day, I had my busy life, packed up schedule and I'm tired. 

I know I don't talk much here and there. I'm sorry.
I don't have that writing mood to tab whatever I want. So, that's all for now. 

I have a lot to tell, I just don't have that time and mood. 
Okay, see you when I miss you. XX

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Jump ?

After my class, I went out to see Hakim. Have our lunch at KFC. On the way down, at the escalator. He suddenly look down and say

Him : If I jump, would you jump too ?
Me : No ! Why would I jump ? I still want to live. I will can an ambulance for you. Cause I don't want you to die. *Smiling. Siapa nak jaga I nanti ?
Him : *Laughing.

You manage to make me happy while I'm sad. You tend to make silly jokes so that I would smile. You will make me happy in any way. You're trying to change me from bad to good and I'm improvising. I thank you for all you're effort.
I wouldn't want you to leave me. Even for a single minute. I love you sayang.
I always do. Always have. Always will.

Deeply from : Your future wife ;)