Sunday, January 30, 2011

1 WEEK (@.@)

Call me annoying for posting to much of this lovey dovey boyfriend scene what so ever shit. I don't care. This is my blog, 
mind shitting somewhere else aite ? This is mine, I wrote what ever I want. I'm not here to please you guys. LMFAO :)

Just got back from KL, with my hunnybee. It's going to be 1 week without you hunny. There's so much to be told here, but haih. Later laa, I call you at night okay :)
Wasn't expected me to react like that at the bench. Hhehe, you know I know, you know I love you hunny. MWA.
Starting today until sunday is our Midterm Break. 1 WEEK. 
Macam setahun -.- okay I'm not used not having you on my side. So when holiday came it's like urghh "Nanti hunny balik N9 :( " gonna miss you hunnybee. 1 week tak da dah nak kejutkan you for morning classes, no more breakfast and lunch together for 1 week. Hmmmm, after 1 week siap la you. Heheh :D

To be truth, I'm afraid of changes, when you told me about those thing when we're heading back to lrt it just scare me to death. I mean, it's not like I don't like it. No, I'm just not ready for that. Hmm :|
Anywho, I love you Muhammad Nur Hakim <3

Cuma ada sweater hunny for my goodnight sleep :|. RINDU already -.-

Saturday, January 29, 2011


I sense something different. and I don't like it :(

Friday, January 28, 2011


Lately, I don't do tumblr, I don't do  blog, I don't do twitter.
I am so busy right now. Getting busier after this. 
Tomorrow will be my first day of mid term break, the lecturer didn't leave us with assignment or tutorial. But they left us hanging with our final project. Our mind, our sleep get interrupted because of the final project. Even I once had a dream about my final project.
When you have your unfinished project, assignment or tutorial around you, you just can't do things straight. 
I'm just so tired these days. Woke up at 6 every morning, class started at 8.30 or 10.30, mostly finish at 4.30 or 6.30. Arrived home with fuck face *tired and hungry face* and went straight to my room, shower, go down stairs, eat, went up, open the book or paper shits and just trying to finish it -.- 
I need a break. I'm tired, everyone are. 
God, please give us *me and my classmates* strength to finish our final project even it will suck at first, I believe it will ended well. 
Ya Allah, "Tolong kami Tuhan, untuk dapat mengatasi rasa jenuh kami ini, dengan melakukan kegiatan atau hobi yang positif dan menyenangkan sehingga dapat mengobati kejenuhan kami dan memulihkan kembali kesegaran pikiran dan kreatifitas kami.". AMIN.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Strength, NEEDED

Time flies, so fast. It's already been a year without school, classmates, schoolmates and all.

Since we left school, things started to change part by part, slowly everything torn apart, slowly we're getting far from each other, slowly we left each other, and kapich I'm gone in your life.
Hmmm, if you're reading this, didn't mean to offend you guys, just miss the old days, how things could go right even there's these days we fought like bitches

Right now, at this time being. I started to get this feeling. Kinda hard to explain it. Those uninvited feelings came when I see your pictures, your wall and all. Theres a lot going on, you're just to ego to talk to me. You know what you did was wrong, but you never tend to say sorry like a real sorry. I been keeping this feeling for 5 months, right after your BFF surprised birthday party. K, don't think I should mention your name. It's totally unnecessary. 
We have change, in two type
1. From good to bad
2. From bad to good
Pick a number, 
Things start to change and I don't really love what I see, listen to those things. 
So, call me mean. BUT, I do this for our own good. I wish you knew me better. You never care, you never ask. For 2 years of befriending. Still you don't know how I react at times right ?
The conclusion of all. I'm trying to call us off. Like OFF really. It's time to  let go of the past and just walk forward and never look back, not a second glance. NOT ONCE. I had enough. You're just to ego to admit you're cons. 
I hope you will experienced what I felt for 5 months. You shouldn't be doing things like that. 
Make different path, I do my thing, you do yours. We're cool like that. Going to build up my own wall, my own strength. Going to build up the NEW ME :) with hunny and others <3

Appreciate people that appreciate who you are, with your pro and cons.

P/s : I don't want to be near you guys :|


Qie like and qie love it <3

sayang sampai bila bila. 
FriendSHIP will never end <3

My b, wrote this for me :)
She's sweet or what. 
Kay, according to what she said just now. We ONCE fight like bitches over a guy and end up being BFF. Awwww. Never knew this could happened to me. Babee, even you don't know me well. But you're there for me :) ALWAYS, sorry if I'm not there for you sometimes. I can be pain in the ass sometime, with this a hole minded. Sorry sangat sangat. 
You know you can always count on me. Insyallah I can help you ok :)
We haven't meet yet, but it's like we known for years ; we known each other till now is 1 years 1 months 2 weeks 2 days. Waahhhh, dah lama dah kan ? 
I love you babe, thanks for picking me up when I'm down. You will be my first victim to be cry on. Hhe, thanks for the advices you gave me, even you're younger than me you know the boundaries. Erghh, sometime I get pretty jealous with you. You're like near to perfect. *the family, studies, friend that loves you well, your talent, clever you name it. You are all :D
I miss you babe, now dah habis sekolah kan. Blog will be your good peneman till your result k b. 
Beep me if you need any help aite. LOVE YAAAA,

Mine Teehee

My goodnight sleep :) 
You will always be in my mind, and I'm wearing your sweater NOW :)

My huggy wuggy ; is youu <3
 This will be mine, forever :D
Love you Hunny, 

P/s : We known each other for 6 MONTHS *27 JULY 2010,
already. <3 YOU kambingku.
Happy 6 months of befriending HunnyBee. 
Je T'aime B,

This Morning,

Kay, had enough with you gal. 
Satu hari tak kacau hidup orang memang tak sah eh ?
Kay, nama dia ni Cik B* -.- babi betul.
This morning time I baru sampai college, *kay hari ni ponteng class cause of issues kat rumah -.- 
I jalan to blok L, and nampak adi dekat situ with mira and siapa tah nama dia. 
Call hunny to wake him up cause class dia 10.30 that time that 10.25 * sah la tak bangun lagi kan. Then call angah cakap I kat bawah ni. 
While waiting for hunny and angah. Tried calling hunny again, and again and again. TAK DAPAT, like usual la kan. Teehee, so tunggu je sorang dekat pondok tu. 
And adi bangun jalan pi mana tah, *bternampak eh cause dia depan I. Then dia selisih dengan Cik B ni. Then bila cik B ni nampak I kat area pondok tu, terus dia like look straight to my face and like saying something -.- dia dengan kawan kawan dia. KAY, let me get this straight. This is not the FIRST time you do this, hope this will be your LAST time. Hopeless betul, kau ingat I nak ke dekat laki you tu. EXCUSE ME, laki aku dah cukup kay. Tak yah kot nak pandang pandang and buat mulut, kalau sekali dua boleh la kan. Ni kalau dah selalu. Ehhh memang muka aku ni suka kena caci je dengan orang kan. -.- you are not perfect and you're not his :D INGAT sikit,

Take note, I dengan adi tu tak bercakap pun, tak yah kot kau nak ingat aku nak rebut dia dari kau. TAK INGIN punn. Hunny aku dah ada pun :p

Get the fuck out of my face biatch, kisah pulak aku kau senior aku -.- TAK PEDULI !

K, marah jap. Sorry :D
Goodnight peeps, unfortunate for me I can't sleep at all

I wish !

Spend my every hours with hunny macam kejap sangat. 
Even if we sit at one place and just talk like 9 hours or more, talking and laughing and all. I still can't get enough of you. Still not enough for me. I just need you more and more. NON STOP. My heart beat fast when I couldn't reach you. I get very moody if I didn't see you around. 
We went to same college. 
Different course, way different.
Different class, 
Different timing and schedule. * selalu clash masa.
So yea, rarely sit there and talk with you like we used to. Got to busy with things around college, assignment and project shit. I only see you for half and hour or 15 minutes every day. We have to rush to class, *cause time you habis class, i ada class. Time i habis class, you ada class -.- so yeah. BUSY. Tak suka.

There's a lot I learn from you, but I just don't know how to interpret to myself. I try to change a thing or two  for you, cause I know that would make you happy. I will try, slowly. I promise. :)

Mine :D

Always and forever. Muhammad Nur Hakim Ismail pull stop.
Literally at this minute I can't sleep at all. I  finish my project management assignment and print it and already file it together, so like yeayy for my group la kan -.- .K not gonna say anything. Zip my mouth bout you guys. :D

I can't sleep. Owl eyes baby !
Why I can't sleep ? Hmm, today I spend a quarter of my day with hunny at Wangsa Walk. Eat at NZ curry house. At 11.30 received phone called from my dad. But I didn't pick up, -.- malas. So it's like an alarm saying "GO HOME NOW !". So yeah, hunny go pay the bill and we walk to his motorcycle. 
We spent about 15 minutes there, he tried so hard to pujuk and ask me to go home with him, he want to send me back home safely cause it's like 11.45 PM like that. So he's kinda worried and all. He insist me coming with him, BUT I was to scared to ride a motorcycle
*another story ; I sebenarnya dah lama tak naik motor, like 9 years already. So memang totally penakut :(
*continue I almost cry just not cause I'm like super penakut. After 15 minutes he pujuk and consult, ceramah and everything he finally gave up and send me back by cab. Hunny, I know you're mad at me. I know I shouldn't let my fear eat me up like that. I know I'm supposed to overcome my fears and just do it and have fun with it. But this stupid feeling -.- oh god. I wish I could explain this feeling. I'm scared to death. I know it's nothing tapiiii I takut. Hunnyb, I bukan tak nak, I takut. Seriously :|
I will try to do something with this thing. I promise :(.
I know you're mad. I know you well. Love you hunnyb

Monday, January 24, 2011

Help Me Out,

I can't do this all alone, I need you to be here. Right where you supposed to be. You're not like before, or maybe this is the real you. Maybe you got fed up with the things I have done. It occur that you don't believe my sorry. 
Sorry : I am so sorry that I did something like that. I regret the things I have done, and not gonna do it again. That it.
Don't be this way. I'm tired of crying, you knew I can't do anything without you. But lately I'll just have too. You do know how much I love you right ? Do you ?
Hmmmmm, this feeling suck. I need you like really need you present in my life, 


Oh God

Keep it to yourself qie, you know you can do it. You just have to ignore it,
actually I don't have the heart to do anything, but I just have too. I have a tons of shit to do asap. 

As much as I hate to be ignored, I just have to face it in this mean time, as much as I hate  when things fall apart I'll just have to get used to it. 

You shouldn't be saying those thing that you said, even that 3 words teared me apart just now.

I'm not a moody person, I am not, I just have my moment. Kthnksbye.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Forever :D

After our talk, I just want you to know,
Just for you ; Muhammad Nur Hakim Ismail. Just you !
  • I tak pernah bosan dengan you
  • I rasa relationship ni lama bukan sebab bosan, sebab I sayang you sangat. 
  • You are so amazing, I love the way you talk
  • You make me happy when my day start to get cloudy
  • I barely smile when we fight
  • If we fight, I can stand sitting for 5 minutes. Mesti nak tengok phone just in case you call
  • I cant sleep without listening to your voice
  • You amazed me by the things you do
  • We barely talk to each other lately
  • It's hard when you're not around, it's not easy to talk so I wrote to you :D
  • I love talking to you whether it's on the phone, ym-ing, skype or in person
  • You never bores me with anything
  • You comfort me good
  • You drown me with good explanations bout things around me
  • You're my good adviser
  • I never did this to me ex-es. This is like the first time
  • I just want you to know that I love you so badly
  • It never slip thru my mind that you would leave me
  • I'll be more than happy when you're around
  • I don't really care bout what people said
  • I need you all the time
  • Forgive me when I'm wrong
  • I promise I'll change for you
  • Remind me if I did anything wrong
  • Even that little thing that you do to me, everything will make me happy
  • You surprise me good
  • I'm trying to be in your position
  • Thank you sebab you nanyi kat I haritu, 
  • I promise I will try to be there when you need me
  • Thank you sebab you layan kerenah I non stop
  • You don't mind walking me to anywhere I want
  • You would do anything just to make me happy
  • You will run to me when I walk away
  • You're the one for me, remember !
  • Sometimes I get jealous thinking someone else could me happier than I could
  • You're sincerely look at me
  • Whisper word that would make me happy when I'm moody
  • You rather walk under the rain, while you hold my umbrella and you're wet cause you're not under my umbrella
  • Pick me up when I fall
  • Accept my flaws
  • You willingly, appreciate me,  understand me, support me, and respect me and take me as I am.
Hunny for the good deeds, and the lovely memories, thank you for being there for me. Thank you so much, 
Know that I love you so very much, no one loves you like I do :*


When all of those question came up, I doomed !
We're doomed, it's like this is the end of everything. Oh gosh, I need to get back to who I was :)


I just need you hunnyb. That's all. 
Kau yang teakhir dalam hidupku <3

That ME

That's me, I make things when all complicated cause I don't know how to hold on, I don't know how to manage things. I make something such a big deal when actually its not. Hmm, that this stupid part of me.
Hmm, that all. Kbye

Enuff said,

I miss my boyfie : Muhammad Nur Hakim :(


Hello :)
For the past few days, I'm not myself. I have this thing this stupid butterflies, like its glued up in my mind, something that makes other felt disturbing, annoying, and all the uninvited feeling towards me. I make people hated me more because of my beyond major bitchy attitude.
I have my alone-ness moment last night, where I don't want to talk, I don't want to be around people even texting, or calling. I'm sorry Hakim hunny for yesterday, today and the day before. I am not myself. I wish I could explain this annoying shit, but I just can't.
I am not happy, not welcome, don't feel like laughing, don't feel like talking. I just don't want to do anything.
I just need my own moment, where I just want to find myself alone and talking to myself, look at the trees all the green shits, staring at the cloud and sky. I miss the old me. Where everything is possible to me.
Maybe I just miss the old days, missing my girls, missing the day we run like mad people, laugh like shit, cry while hugging each other. IDK, what's wrong with me ??
I make people feel uncomfortable with my attitude lately :(
Qie, start to change back ! People hated it :| Hmm.
and last night was a bit sentimental to me, I open my playlist and started to make list, all those sentimental songs and just sing along and I cried like hmm, I don't know.
I have this feeling again today, now. While writing this. Hmm, anyway ttyl.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Tak suka

I hate getting flashback on things I don't want to remember. I hate to look at those news feed when she post a new status and it never occurred to her that I miss how things back then. Hmm. I hate to see you change. I hate when we're not talking to each other. Kenapa nak jadi macam ni ? :'(


It's been awhile right. Sorry my baby bloogy. Been spending a lot of time with my tumblr. You di anak tiri kan pulakk. Hehe, sorry :D

Just got back from KL with him. 
Things started to change part by part. I try to hold on. To the things that kept me thinking more about and with him. Running away would never be a good answer. I have to accept it by hook or by crook. I love you like no other my hunny. We are different in every way. BUT, please let me be in your position. Let me in, I'm trying. It's not that I don't appreciate you, no it's never like that. It's more like "Uhh, I'm not sure how you felt about me. Am I good enough for you ? Hmm, I don't know." 
I'm stranded in my lost lane. I love you, that for sure, no doubt on that. You comfort me good, they way you treat me, they way you talk, how could you sacrifice half of your life for me is more than enough. I wouldn't found anyone like you. I swear I won't. 
Sorry for being so quiet. I need my moment to think and let myself and my mind work and starting to think, "can I accept all this" and I finally got my answer, I do. For better and for worse. For rich or poor. I'll be there for you, sekarang pun macam tu kan. 
We came from different side of family, but I will TRY to change a little tad bit just for you. I love you Hakim Ismail


Kadang kadang, sedih bila dulu kita dah janji nak together forever. and at last, semua dah tak da. Its so frustrating when you can look at their picture but don't have the guts to talk to them cause of the past. Honestly that feeling is so annoying and stressful. I just hate to be ignored. I don't want to be in this position. Girls, I'm so sorry. I want chuu, hmmmm

Saturday, January 15, 2011


Stitch is so cute :(

He's playing with his finger, which is what I do when I'm feeling sad.
Aww :(

Friday, January 14, 2011

Low Down

Sometimes, I get jealous thinking that someone else could make you happier than I could.
I guess it's my insecurities acting up, because I know, I'm not the prettiest, the smartest or more fun and exciting.
But I do know that no matter how hard and you look back, you will find no one that love you the best like I do :)
Muhammad Nur Hakim, you're MINE

Want :)

Try looking back to the memories that we own now. I just miss you too much. For some people who read this, might say "Alah, jumpa everyday pun rindu -.-" didn't I mention we go to the same college. Literally I see you everyday la kan :D. Blame me for missing you Hakim.
SO ? Biar la nak rindu. -.-
Hunny, I miss youuu.
I want talk on the phone until morning, sneak out and looking at the stars together with you, teach me how to play you favorite video game, kiss you in the rain, stare at you and think of what would happened if I lost you, walks with you to Damai or anywhere, holding your hand and never let it go like me holding up to you and never let you go, laugh until I can't breath, just sit at one place and talk about life, I want to fall hopelessly in love with you Hunny Bee.


This is my third semester at Multimedia College. Overall I did good. Could do better in this semester :D
New semester, new year, new friends, new things, new boyfie <3. NEW, everything is new to me. Have a lot to learn and to catch up.
It's been a while since I last draw how I feel and my feelings in this bloggy. 
Sorry you guys, I been busy with studies and studies and studies and the new things. -.- TIRED.
Assignment is equal to hello GRAVE :D
Assignment came and drop by and actually planning to stay with me and follow me whenever I go until April. Oh gosh, you know I hate you but you just want to be with me. Fu** What can I do ? Ohh assignment ! Be good to me and I'll do the same thing to you aite. 

Can't Get Enough

Sometimes I don't understand you. 
" Manusia tak pernah puas. "
It's true I love you, BUT do appreciate what I been doing. This is not like the old days. You mean a lot of me. You are my inspiration don't make me lose it. I'm trying my best to be the best out of the best for you.
You know I love you, don't stop being choosy. Learn to appreciate on things I have done. 

Monday, January 10, 2011

Broken Hearted Girl,

A broken hearted Girl Conversation with her boy.

Boy: I miss you.
Girl: And so?
Boy: I really did.
Girl: K.
Boy: I'm sorry.
Girl: What for?
Boy: For ignoring your efforts to communicate with me.
Girl: Its OK. I got used to it, then I got tired, so I stopped trying and started forgetting.
Boy: I.
Boy: I tried to forget about you, you see.
Girl: Hm
Boy: Cause it tore me apart that we can never be.
Girl: its OK.
Boy: Why is it so OK?
Girl: I got used to days hoping you'd be back, but then you never did. I started facing reality, and started to get        a move on.
Boy: Wait, am I too late?
Girl: Too late for what?
Boy: To court you?
Girl: You know, I've always wanted to hear that from you.
Boy : :D
Girl : BUT, back then, a year ago. But I got used to only wishing for it then realized it would never happen, so I stopped hoping.
Boy: I'm really sorry, but dont worry, this time, I will make your wishes come true. :))
Girl: Its my turn to say sorry. Time got into me. You've broken my heart already. I cant risk experiencing that again. :/ Thank you anyway. For communicating with me after a year of silence.


When the first day I met you, I said this to myself cause I was afraid to being there for you and you left me.0

I’m not supposed to love you, I’m not supposed to care, I’m not supposed to live my life wishing you were there. I’m not supposed to wonder where you are or what you do. I’m sorry I can’t help myself, I’m in love with you.

The best part of a relationship, is getting to call the person, or lay down next to them, and tell them all the crazy things that happened to you all day long. In the end that’s what it’s about. It’s not about sex, it’s not about the money they give you, it’s not about how good looking they are, it’s about them listening to you talk for hours and hours and hours, about stupid shit that doesn't matter. Chances are I’ll never get a moment like this again, so here’s everything I ever wanted to tell you. No one has ever gotten me like you; I’ve never found anyone who makes me laugh like you. You’re the one person who I can honestly see myself happy with; the definition of love to me is you.

Men hate to cry, they rarely ever do. But, when a man cries over you, you know he loves you. Because men only cry when they lost something or are afraid of losing something that they love as much or more than themselves


Too Sweet Not To Reblog. :">

Random Conversation :)

Girl: Babe I dont think I can sleep.
Boy: Why baby?
Girl: I don't know. I need your boring voice to put me to sleep. Wanna tell me a story? Hehehe.
Boy: Hahah, you're lucky that you're cute. How about I read you Dear John.
Girl: Sounds perfect.
- Boy reads Dear John-
- 15 minutes later-
Girl: *snores*
Boy: Babe?
Girl: *snores*
Boy: Hahah, you always knock out within 15 minutes. Your snores are cute. Babe, I really love you. I really do. Sometimes I might show that I dont give a fuck. But I do. I never want to lose you. I know it's cheesy, but this is how I feel. This is REAL. I know I'm not the best thing out there, but I'm trying to be one of your best ever. Thank you babe, thank you for choosing a messed up guy like me to be your boyfriend. Thank you for being mine. I honestly can't see myself with anyone else but you babe. I know I say I love you too many times, but each time I say it, my feeling grows more & more for you. Thanks for listening babe. I'll still be on the phone if you need anything. Goodnight babe & sweet dreams. I won't let the bed bugs bite you.

It's like you're saying those thing to me hunny.
Most guys wouldn't admit to their girl all about the sweetness of loving his girlfriend :D
Thank you hunny, for saying those sweet precious stuff about our's 
I love you Hakim <3

Sunday, January 9, 2011


A 5 years old girl in the kindergarden told me. She told me now she only had a colouring sheet for homework. I told her how I wished I was in kindergarten again. She looked at me with the most serious face and said “No you don’t. All kids do is steal your crayons, break them in half, and walk away”. I said to her in my most serious face “Yes that might be true, but in high school boys steal your heart, break them in half and walk away.


Sometimes people tell you that they care.
Sometimes people tell you that they love you.
Sometimes people tell you that they want you.
Sometimes people say that they will catch you when you fall.
Sometimes people tell you they will never leave you.
Sometimes people say they will never hurt you.
Sometimes people say they would die without or for you.
Sometimes people say that your worth it.
Sometimes people say it's going to be okay.
Sometimes people say, you are the one sight they never get tired of.
And sometimes, they just lie to you.